I had a really bad day yesterday because I found out these two are getting a divorce. They met at work, dated, eloped, got him through cancer, and then split up. Now they have to continue to work together and I swear, if they let this ruin Dexter for me, I will personally hunt them down.











I know people think I should be more mad about these two, but I'm not. He was too hot for her anyway. Plus, he's back on the market. Ow, ow!

Best thing about being 25? I consider myself grown up enough to have my makeup off and be in bed at 10:00 on a Friday night without having to feel bad. I figure at 26 I'll stop wearing any makeup at all.

Ok, so there is one good thing that has come from a Will Smith offspring.

Today I am thankful for this place and their vanilla steamers. How would I get through winter without them?

I am not, however, thankful for the cat that tipped by 3/4 full cup over so he could drink my vanilla steamer last night. Next time I will just have to get him his own. It's not worth the risk.

These people creep me out. Why can't they be cute and endearing like their dad? Why do they have to be weird and alienating?

Poor papa Will. I wonder if he even saw this coming.

I guess I should weigh in on the TSA travel requirements since I travel a lot, and don't like blowing up.

I'm flying to D.C. on the 2nd out of Salt Lake. I hope they grope me.

I FINALLY figured out why Ryan Reynolds is so sexy. I'm obviously not the only one who thinks so, since he received the official title from People Magazine this year. I was staring at this picture thinking, "what is it about him that makes his so appealing?" You think it would jump out at me, but it doesn't. And then it hit me.

I love him because he has a small mouth. I have a small mouth too, Ryan! It doesn't fit on my face, and neither does yours.

Whew, I'm glad I figured that out.

I'm sick of not getting enough ketchup packets in drive-thrus. I'm going to have to start asking for it using the only words I have found to be effective, no matter how embarrassing it is.

"Can I get a butt-load of ketchup?"

It works. Promise.

Apparently these two are dating. Say it ain't so. I would like to continue to believe that Michael Phelps never gets out of the pool except to smoke pot and eat Subway...wearing his speedo, of course.

It made me cry

I was catching a flight to Atlanta out of D.C. in October. There was a man in an Army uniform sitting a couple rows in front of me, which meant that I was behind him as we exited the plane when we landed.

As we walked through the airport, another man wearing shorts and a grubby t-shirt walked up to the Army man and said "thank you for your service, sir."

I followed the Army man until I had to turn off to my next gate, crying the whole way. I didn't even care how weird I looked. It was one of the best things I have ever seen. Ever. I'm glad there are still people like both of those men left in this world.

Never forget.

I really don't know how we forgot how nuts Angelina Jolie is. I found this little video, which prompted me to look at her wikipedia page, and I was reminded just how weird she used to be. Maybe she is cured and doesn't like women, vials of blood, her brother, or weird tattoos anymore. Way to go Brad. You are the most successful form of rehab ever.

Kris vs. ghost

I hate it when I am laying in bed with the lights out, watching the Kardashians, and a commercial for a scary movie comes on. I always hurry and change the channel, but sometimes the damage is done, and I am terrified.

The only thing that should scare me during that show is Kris Jenner's hair and makeup.

Gold.

Does anyone else think this is crazy? One time, on Arrested Development, Lindsay taught me that there was diamond cream for your face, but I almost thought it was a joke. Well, here is the proof that she's not crazy. Gold radiance powder, designed to enhance your complexion with 24 kt. gold. Only $70 a bottle.

Way to go Lindsay. I bet you have the best complexion out there.

Who wants the clap? I do, I do!

Thanks to my darling and dear friend Nicole Nelson, I was introduced to this lovely video. It's on a children's show, and it is puzzling. Clearly they are talking about chlamydia, since they refer to it as THE clap. I bet the writers for the Wiggles were so proud of themselves, and laugh at their little inside joke all the time.

Well Wiggles guys, while we might laugh too, we don't entirely get it. Nor do we get the expressions on the faces of your music video stars.

In five short days I am headed to Washington D.C. for work. I am excited for these reasons:
1. I get to wear real fall clothes, instead of the crappy stuff I've had to wear in Logan this fall.
2. I get to visit a city I am in love with
3. I get to see old friends
4. I get to eat Eastern Market cookies and breakfast. If you have never been there, make it a point to go. Amazing!
5. I get to look for some black boots in a place that has real stores with real shopping.
6. I get to go to karaoke night. I think karaoke is more fun at Bailey's Pub in Crystal City than anywhere else in the world, except for maybe Korea.
7. I love America.

I am not excited for these reasons:
1. Cities have BEDBUGS. If the Crystal City Marriott sends me home with them, there will be hell to pay.

You can take the snooki, and stick up your hey!

Does anyone else hate that they even know who this is? Whenever I hear her on the news I lie to myself and pretend I don't, but her oompa-loompa-ness is everywhere. Don't worry, if I ever meet her I'll be all "who are you?" That'll put her in her place.

And another thing, is snooki a combination of scary and nookie?

Somehow, I can't even imagine Fred Durst doing it all for the "Snooki."

This is all that is right with the world.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

These brothers are my new obsession. I want to write a book about them. Desperately. I think I could write it. I read TONS of books on WWII veterans, which obviously gives me enough experience to write my own. I even got in touch with a publishing company, but then totally freaked out and haven't called them back, even though they call me several times a week.

Let's be honest, I want to write this for purely selfish reasons. I would get to sit there and listen to stories of four veterans. I would be amazed all the time. I would also be crying all the time. Just say "Dick Winters" or "Easy Company" or "Battle of the Bulge" to me and I start crying. Let me ask you experienced authors out there; is it absolutely necessary to see the words you are writing, or is excessive crying ok?

Blog?

I decided to giving blogging another go. I tried to do one while I lived in DC last year, but soon found out that my priorities were not sitting at a computer and typing while I was there, so I think I only posted four times. Now that life is not exciting, I have more free time on my hands, which means that I have more time to blog. It also means that I have absolutely nothing important or exciting to blog about. It's a vicious cycle.